Tonight we went to a going away party in our honor. Wha?!?! Going away?!?!

Since Aisling was born, I've gotten many questions about her name. Where'd you find it? How do you pronounce it? Scott found her name in a baby book. It's an Irish name. Pronounce properly, it's supposed to be ash-ling. But when I look at it, I see Ace-ling. I thought it was prettier that way so we say it, ace-ling. her name means dream, vision. I thought that was so fitting because I've always dreamed of having a little girl. Also, when I was pregnant with Ethan, Scott had a very detailed dream of me with our daughter. 

After she was born, Scott put a video of her on our youtube account. I saw there were other videos with the name Aisling in them. I looked at one and I couldn't believe it. It was a story of how the true meaning of Aisling is the dream and vision that the misplaced Celts had to return home to Ireland. This was so amazing to me because last fall (the same time that Scott found her name) Scott and I felt a "call" to return home to Northwest Indiana to start a church.

We prayed and prayed and prayed about it and decide that indeed, we were supposed to move back and start our own church. We told the people here right away but wanted to wait to tell people there for various reasons. We've now told almost everyone that we felt we needed to except a handful of people. Anyway, we decided to wait until the boys were out of school and our lease here was up before we move. Luke's last day of school was today and Ben's is Wed. Our lease expires June 1. 

On June 8 we are packing everything up and heading back up north. Scott will be starting his own church there. I have so many emotions about this move. I am so sad to be leaving this place, we love it so much, the schools are among the top in the nation, we're so close to Disney, I could go on and on. I am so excited to make this move. I'm excited to see my husband do this, I'm excited to bring my kids back to their grandparents and to be by our family and friends, to be part of those awesome bloggy get togethers, again I could go on and on.

So, in the week we have left we've got a birthday party to attend, a last trip to Disney planned, and a ton of organizing to do. This week has been full of appts. scheduling things and fighting back tears. We seem to have a knack for moving when I'm post pardum (Ethan was 10 days old when we moved to Ohio). Next weekend we'll say goodbye to our beloved home in FL and hello to our old home in Indiana.  Then we've got meetings with Realtors and Mortgage brokers (yuck).

As Ben gets more and more exposed to life outside this house, we have to explain and modify the things he sees and hears. Here's an example from last night at dinner...

B: So, can I say BROAD-way?

Me: Yes, that's the name of a road. You can also say broad to explain that something is wide. Like dad has broad shoulders. You just cannot say broad when you are talking to or about a woman.

B: Heh. (Huge smile) Dad, you have BROAD shoulders (giggle giggle).

Me: Very funny. Eat your chicken. 

And we have to make out 

Having a daughter, for the most part, has been very similar to having the boys. I mean, a baby is a baby. Other than the differences in diaper changes and the outfits, it's been pretty much the same. But there have been a few times when it has been different. I've had a couple times with her when I've gotten a glimpse of the past or the future with her.

When I bought our new stroller I got a glimpse of the past and I felt myself step into my mothers shoes for a second. I was standing at the register with my debit card. I was waiting for the lady to do who knows what before I could spend WAY too much on a stroller. While I waited I looked down at my little angel girl. I suddenly felt myself looking at her as my own mother had looked at me so many times. All the times she bought things for me that she knew was cost too much money but I wanted it or needed it so she bought it for me. That's kind of how my mom and I work, she likes to spend as little money as possible on things while I seem to think that something is worthless unless it costs a ton of money. Anyway there I was waiting to buy that stroller for my own baby girl and for a nanosecond I understood my own mother a bit better.

Tonight I got a glimpse of the future with Aisling. She was having her crying time, just screaming at me and refusing to rest as if to say, "how much of this will you take from me?" Finally after about 2 hours, she and I were laying on the couch and she was nursing. She was drifting off to sleep and her arm jerked, shaking her whole body. She grabbed my shirt in her tiny little hand and held onto it with all of her might to settle herself. I pulled her in close and held her tight to me to let her know that I had her and that she'd be ok. That's when I realised that as she gets older she will continue to have outbursts at me. She will have emotions that she doesn't understand especially as a pre-teen and teen. She will know that she is safe with me and that's why she'll let her frustrations and feelings vent on me, like all girls do. I'm not saying I'm going to allow her to get away with this kind of behavior but I know it's coming. Then in the next moment she'll turn on a dime and reach out to me for comfort and every time I'll be there to hold her close and let her feel safe in my arms. Cause she is safe with me, and I'll be here for her whenever she needs me.  

You do a load of the baby's laundry. When you take out the lint tray this is what you find...

the lint is PINK!!!

That's never happened in this house before.