My Best Girlfriend
The Flip Flop Mamma noted on her blog, that during our meeting this weekend, I was quiet. She wondered if that was just me. Well, Jaymi, that's not just me.
I’ve been feeling low lately. The lowest I’ve felt in a long time. It’s a new kind of low. Not the low you get when something bad happens to you. Not the low you get after you realize that you’ve just made a big mistake. This is something else, something different.
I guess it’s the culmination of so many things. I’ve been keeping so many things inside, telling myself that it’s no big deal, I can ignore it. As it turns out, I can’t. I think about them a lot. I feel overwhelmed at the things that will be coming in March, April, and May. I feel anxiety about a change that will be coming in Aug. It’s weighing me down.
Could it be the Baby Blues? The baby will be 10 months next week. It’s probably just the hormones of my body trying to get back to it’s normal “cycle.” It was the most difficult recovery from childbirth, with this third child. Maybe this part will be more difficult than with the other two also. Who knows.
We are still visiting our hometown. I had the mamma bloggers luncheon here. Tonight I met my best friend at Starbucks. We ordered our drinks (decaf for me please) with our sugary snacks and sat down. I felt myself exhale and relax just being there with her. We talk, both of us as fast as we can, catching each other up on our daily lives. We laugh HARD, many times. I take a deep breath. “Can I tell you some stuff?” “Yeah, of course.” She says turning toward me. I spill my guts, tell of everything that’s going on inside of me. She interjects after almost every statement with comments of complete understanding, common stories, encouraging me that I am handling things well. I fight back the tears as I finally let out so many things I’ve been hiding deep inside. She totally gets me. She’s been there. She agrees with me. It’s so freeing!
I take another deep breath. I feel so much better! We go on talking and chatting. We laugh HARD some more. Share secrets (the grown up kind) and enjoy each others company. I look down at my watch, 2 ½ hours have gone by in the blink of an eye. I have to go back and nurse the baby. Our time is up.
I get up and feel like myself again. I feel like I can smile and be my cheerful self. My circumstances haven’t changed. But, I don’t feel alone. I have shared my burdens and I feel much lighter. I have a wonderful husband who is my ultimate best friend. But, sometimes, there is nothing like a best girlfriend. To her (she knows who she is) I say thank you. You don’t know how much you helped me tonight!
Sheryl Bane
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Reader Comments (7)
I am thinking of you!
Steph
Something else to cheer you up - spring is right around the corner. I always find the flowers and leaves returning ligthens my heart like nothing else.
xoxo,
Ashlee