In the World Not of It
This weekend we were back in Indiana. As we visited family and friends, I had to deal with some emotions. First, one night I was driving by our old house- the house we just sold 7 months ago. They put up their Christmas tree. They put it in the same spot where we put it, right in front of the big bay window. I supposed everyone who has ever lived in that house put it in the same place. They put lights out on the bushes in front. I always wanted to do that but never did. The lights were not my taste at all. I'd even go so far as to say they were ugly! I hated them. Tsk. Mine was much prettier, I thought. I still look at it as my house that those people are in. Apparently my kids do to (see funny words). Then we were at a friends house and I opened her fridge to get some juice for the kids. Her fridge is very much like mine used to be in that house that we just sold. Suddenly, I got hit with a memory of my old kitchen, in my old house. It left as quickly as it came, only lasting about half a second. But for that half a second I got filled with a feeling that I haven't had in 7 months. Security.
When we lived in Indiana, we had the good size house, the huge back yard, we knew exactly what day Scott was getting paid every month and exactly how much he was going to get. We had pretty good health insurance and we felt pretty well, established. I had my mile-long list of complaints but I had something that I didn't know I had and I completely took it for granted. I had, security.
We voluntarily gave all of that up when we moved to Ohio. We felt the Lord calling us out of the familiar and into the next chapter in our lives. We had been praying for this for quite a while. I think if someone would have told me what I would be facing I would've said, "I know." But sometimes, you never know, until you know. Here, we are, renting (ugh) in a place where none of my friends or family live. We are WELL provided for but we're never sure when the money is coming in or how much it will be. And insurance- Ha! Someday we'll have it again. I thought longingly for those days of security. Then it occurred to me- STOP IT! Stop looking back at the best of what you had and comparing it to the worst of what is. We have been called to be a part of something that is going to be awesome. We are getting into it right at the beginning, where there is everything but what I've known as security. We've made the decision to do this thing and I can fuss and complain about what I miss or I can believe that the Bible says we are in this world and not of it. We've given ourselves 100% to the Lord and He is all the security I need. Who cares if it's not the house that we painted to our specific likings, who cares if it's not the kitchen that we worked hard at fixing just right. There are things that are bigger and better out there. We are working on a different system now. Our security doesn't come from knowing we only have a $20 dollar copay and 25 more years on this house and it's ours, free and clear! Our security comes from knowing that we have heard the voice of the Lord and obeyed. We've bet everything, literally, on God being who He says he is. He says, when we turn ourselves over to Him he'll take care of us. So far, we've never missed a meal or even come close. We're totally fine, just needing a little attitude adjustment. So, that's it, I'm in the world but not of it. I'm not going to look back longingly at what we once had. I don't need the securities the world has to offer. I've got something better. I've got securities in my God, who loves me way more than Blue Cross Blue Shield anyway. I can't wait to see what happens next!
Sheryl Bane
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Reader Comments (7)
On the subject of Ohio, I know the church down there and their minstery of service is outstanding.
BLESSINGS!!!
I really enjoyed the time we got to spend together this weekend.
You've inspired me to renew my prayers in the same direction. I am tired of the familiar. I want adventure and I want to HAVE to trust God for stuff. I hate this place of complacency! I know I'll probably have a moment someday when I'll need you to remind me..."You asked for this."
Thanks for your openess and sharing of yourself!